Attending Dinner Parties Prints

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"Oh, the '94 - the best thing you can say about the '94 is that the '95 was worse."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.