Attempting A Lifestyle Change Pillows

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"You won’t need refills."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'Watch yourself.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"My joints... are almost done"

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

'I'm coping.'

Fast food eater dreams of fruit...fruit eater dreams of junk food.

Cup half full

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

'I recently became a veggie.'

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."