Athletics Trainer Pillows

A guy walks into a bar...

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Powerful Love.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Football

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Perils of the double play.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

When I walk as part of my fitness plan I feel a new, great appreciation for all humanity! That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. It's so hot and humid nobody's around today. Magnificent desolation! Do you think you'll stick with your diet? Failure is not an otion. Look! An ice cream truck! On the moon I'd weigh 41 pounds and could eat ice cream all day! Houston we have a problem!