Artful Pun Lover Mugs

"It's called 'Unfinished Nude'."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Do it yourself books.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Weather forecast

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Pavement artist.