Artful Advertiser T-Shirts

Direct Marketing...

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Director/Action Man toy.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

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Creative department

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Infinity Tavern

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Roads with a view.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

Honesty in retail

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

The Doorway to Ideas

Gerald Ratner's return

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.