Art Gallery Curators Pillows

"Nowadays it's hard to find artists who don't turn out to be sex maniacs."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

The Googler

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"And this is our media room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Children's artwork exhibition.

Physician tending a mummy.

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

Painting taking root...

Misunderstood artist

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.