Aquatic Gourmet Pillows

"What did I tell you? Best underwater Thai food in the city!"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The Origins of Everything

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Thermidor Dali

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"It's made with real angel hair."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."