Applying For A New Job Prints

"Your job application has one serious problem. Me."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Reach for the Star.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

New Guy.

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"Make a lot of money."

Surfing the daily stress

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."