Appliance Humor Enthusiast Pillows

It was humming. What did you expect me to do? Teach it the words?

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You are still here."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"My compliments to the can opener."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

"Does it come with magnets?"

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"To toast!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."