Appliance Humor Enthusiast Pillows

It was humming. What did you expect me to do? Teach it the words?

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You are still here."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Entertainment systems

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"My compliments to the can opener."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"Does it come with magnets?"

AI Summit

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"To toast!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher