Aol Aficionado Pillows

'Two weeks to live? That can't be right -- I have 500 free hours from AOL!'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Driverless cars rage.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Beer Stall

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Happy thoughts

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."