Anxious Driver Mugs

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Airplane Mode.

Car wash / Mouth wash

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"Err...When I said straight over at the round-about..."

Traffic Sign Haiku

Mysteries of Life

'That woke me up, too!'

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

Height barrier accident.

Fred prays that he remembered to put on clean underwear that morning.

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

"I think I'm getting road rage."

Worry about everything that might happen/Me/Be ready for nothing that does happen.

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"Dad, how can you teach me how to drive...if you can't even remember that the brakes are on this side?"

'Will you stop believing all those rumor about driver's tests?! I'm sure the examiner is perfectly nice and pleasant.'

Drink Driving

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.

"If you hear me scream 'Dear God, we're going to crash...' then start to break!"

"Oh, year...ice!"

'Maybe we'll get that bonus we've never claimed before.'

'Actually I don't care either way. I bet £100 that you would fail me...'

Traffic jam - 'I wish I could go fast enough to get caught by a speed camera.'

Radial Reflex: When your steel belted tires hit a speed bump.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. I