Anxiety Warrior Pillows

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm busy living out the anxieties of a completely hypothetical situation."

"Relax, they're just worry warts."

'Took your advice and decided to face my fears. I still get panic attacks, but at least now there's a darn good reason.'

'6… 5… and down we go, deeper and deeper. Your body's getting heavier and heavier, relaxing even more now, with every breath that you take. 4…'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

'Relax, Mr Frobisher.'

Monsters Under Bed: Then and Now

My parents are going to abandom me phobia.

"See? No one's in the closet. It was just a dream. Your boss isn't out to get you."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Do cars just hate me?"

When Something Good Happens: "If something food can happen then something bad can happen!"

Thoughts are louder in the dark

Worriers Support Group.

"I want you to take some time off! Relax a little."

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

Past, present, future

'I've been feeling terrific lately, doctor, and it really worries me.'

Pesach Nightmares

"Hey, these anti-anxiety pills DO work!"

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

"You're overthinking this."

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

Options Menu: Stall/Answer different question/Filibuster/Feign heart attack.

Agoraphobics Annual Convention

The Upcoming Dental Appointment

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'Here comes the scary part.'

'Just when you helped me conquer my fears about a stock market collapse, now I'm worried about a US infrastructure collapse.'

'Stresses can have a motivating effect ... If they don't KILL YOU!

"And you know, realistically, it's much safer than driving."

Bring your problems to work day.

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'