Anxiety Warrior Pillows

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm busy living out the anxieties of a completely hypothetical situation."

"Relax, they're just worry warts."

'Took your advice and decided to face my fears. I still get panic attacks, but at least now there's a darn good reason.'

'6… 5… and down we go, deeper and deeper. Your body's getting heavier and heavier, relaxing even more now, with every breath that you take. 4…'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

My parents are going to abandom me phobia.

"See? No one's in the closet. It was just a dream. Your boss isn't out to get you."

Monsters Under Bed: Then and Now

'Relax, Mr Frobisher.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Do cars just hate me?"

When Something Good Happens: "If something food can happen then something bad can happen!"

"I want you to take some time off! Relax a little."

Thoughts are louder in the dark

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

Worriers Support Group.

Past, present, future

"You're overthinking this."

"Hey, these anti-anxiety pills DO work!"

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'I've been feeling terrific lately, doctor, and it really worries me.'

Pesach Nightmares

The Upcoming Dental Appointment

Options Menu: Stall/Answer different question/Filibuster/Feign heart attack.

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Agoraphobics Annual Convention

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"I'm just afraid if I die an dog to Heaven there won't be anyone I know."

Bring your problems to work day.

"And you know, realistically, it's much safer than driving."

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm busy living out the anxieties of a completely hypothetical situation."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'