Anticipation Appreciator T-Shirts

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Pencil eraser."

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

Freia and her golden apples

'Well, Mom, he's a redhead...and I guess you could say he's a glass-half-full sort of guy.'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'You say you're an eternal optimist. How unfortunate. We're looking for an internal optimist.'

"You're two weeks behind in making toys. What do you mean you now have to test all chess games first?"

"All right now...hold still."

"How do you manage to keep your hands so beautiful and soft, Sally?"

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

Deadpan Delivery.

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

The Scream take its temperature

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

"I'm not wasting time; I'm listening to my muse."

"We're still pre-rich."

"Joey, can you help me out here?"

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

"Forget the slipper, find me the owner of this glass bra!"

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

Suspense

My routine.

The Little Engine that Couldn't Care Less

'We have to act Your Majesty: The workers spend their time playing with their phones instead of working...'

Smiley Trash.

"...and this is my better half...!"