Anti-censorship Champ Pillows

"This book is the future of literature. It is paper-free to help save the planet and completely free of words and images so no one is offended."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Inclusive speech

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Couples' therapy

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Free speech isn't cheap!

WHO checklist

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Freedom of Speech

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Hipster Police Department

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

Free Internet Access

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

The Power of the Pen

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

WEll, Mr. Thoreau, we're interested in publishing your views on government authority and personal freedom, but perhaps you could leave out some of the references to lima beans and turnips.

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

Civil Discourse Reenactors

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

'If you want to save your marriage, tell each other you're sorry.' 'Youre sorry!'

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'