Animal Hierarchy Analyst T-Shirts

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Bears catching fish

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

"The boss can see you now."

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

You are here.

'They're always going on and on about 'carrying management' so this seemed like a natural...'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Zoo Psychological Center. We had a good group session today. The cougar talked about her trouble having a romantic relationship with someone her own age. The wolf opened up about wearing sheep's clothing. And we all assured the newt that an identity crisis is common among amphibians. The gorilla is having a tough day so he's staying for an individual session. There's nothing wrong with you ... a lot of people tend to ignore 800-pound gorillas.

Who is that little one down there?

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'Okay, you're the executive and I'm not. I got it. I got it!!'

'Switch off that mobile phone, we can't afford to have you distracted: You're on watch duty!'

"Just because I'm your boss, doesn't mean we can't be friends, loser."

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'