Animal Chatter Appreciator T-Shirts

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

'Charlie, is it my imagination or are you getting taller?'

"Ever eat a bird?"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

"You're not gonna be around much longer, pal, so do you mind if I eat your nose when you're done with it?"

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"Cool hat, Walter. Where'd you get it?" "It came with the meal."

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

"Are those the DNA results?" "Yep." "And?" "You're a dog."

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

Catsplaining: Actually, Jerry, cats need to eat seven times a day to stay healthy

'No license?... You mean you're an illegal beagle?'

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

"I've used the "Call of the Wild" excuse to escape for a few days: my mother-in-law is visiting..."

Songs of the Summer.

'What did you get him?'

'I always bark for no reason whatever.'