Animal Caretaker T-Shirts

'Stand back, Son. I think Rex has rabbis.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

Meals on Wheels/Wheelie Bins

"It's a pet, not a video game."

'First, I want you to cut back on the carrot juice.'

'I know they've got to die, but why wait 'till I've finished the last stitch?'

'Don't try to spare me, Doctor. If it's serious, I want to know the truth.'

'I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?'

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

'I don't claim to be an outstanding clinician, but I do one hell of a necropsy.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Make him warm and comfortable...

'Vampire Vets'

"Sorry!"

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

Benevolence Pet Clinic.

'Sam, you either rebuild these gutters or you can get another veterinarian.'

'No, the needle didn't go clear through her....'

'No, you can't telecommute.'

'My start, that doesn't look too bad to me....

'You say he's had chills and tummy ache?...'

Watching the game during surgery.

'A balling gun! How have you been giving her those uterine boluses?'

Cojones.

Your 'What give you the right to play GOD!' speech fell on deaf ears then!

'Where did the little bird go?'

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

"Every morning I find two or three of them like this. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Guess who's the 'rendered'."

"Here Rex, your earmuffs: Young Master's music lesson is about to start..."

"Thank you for your service!"

"We're firing you for not doing your job."

And coughs by smearing the back of the tongue with paste.