Amusing Afterlife Narratives Pillows

"Welcome and here is your ear and arm back."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'