Altitude Trekker Pillows

"Another nosebleed?!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Sport Utility Boot.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

As he tore open his gifts, Dell kept hoping that the weather balloon kit he craved was somewhere among them.

Nature Lovers

'Are you kidding, Billy? We climbed all the way up Everest and you forgot the freaking sleds?!'

Run from the hills!

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

"What are you growing?"

"You're doing great - keep it up."

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

"Hang on—I dropped my car keys."

'Look! We have ants all the way up here.'

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

'Excuse me, are you abominable?'

"Hey. . . in use!"

'I need to lose enough pounds to take a thirty-five meal cruise!'

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"