Alternative Medicine Admirer Pillows

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

Acupuncturist Glen Allen had always dreamed of being a famous matador.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Witch Doctor

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Alternative Medicine.

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"My joints... are almost done"

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

Acupressure Gauge