Allowance Strategists Pillows

"Your mother and I have decided to introduce negative pocket money."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

'Since it's falling on me to help pay off the budget deficits when I grow up, I think you need to increase my allowance, Dad!'

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"...first, let's just figure out an adjustmetn to my allowance..."

"You're a Democrat. Aren't you supposed to be liberal with money?"