Allowance Navigator T-Shirts

"Look son, I want you to have a great childhood. Here's five bucks - will that cover it?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

'Life, like lunch, is full of difficult choices.'

'I refuse to get a job as long as my allowance is higher than minimum wage.'

"You're a Democrat. Aren't you supposed to be liberal with money?"

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'She won't budge on the allowance, but she did present me an 800 page handbook detailing the perks.'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

"Those are my money managers."

'A raise in your allowance? I'll have to go and change into my suit before I can answer that.'

"She's either lost her phone or she wants money."

Bored mother awaiting her kids to 'Pickn'Mix' their breakfast cereals in a supermarket

Too Many Choices! Some Candidates Need to Drop Out!

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

'Even with free medical, dental, room and board, I'm still not making it on this allowance.'