Allowance Earner Gifts

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Since it's falling on me to help pay off the budget deficits when I grow up, I think you need to increase my allowance, Dad!'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"...first, let's just figure out an adjustmetn to my allowance..."

'How am I supposed to do my part in stimulating the economy if you won't raise my allowance?'

"You're a Democrat. Aren't you supposed to be liberal with money?"

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'