Allowance Booster Pillows

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

'I refuse to get a job as long as my allowance is higher than minimum wage.'

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'She won't budge on the allowance, but she did present me an 800 page handbook detailing the perks.'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

"Those are my money managers."

'Even with free medical, dental, room and board, I'm still not making it on this allowance.'

'A raise in your allowance? I'll have to go and change into my suit before I can answer that.'

'Without an increase in my allowance, I'll never be able to pay for the addition on my toy box.'

"I told you not to borrow so much pocket money..."

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."

"She's either lost her phone or she wants money."

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

Dad, can you give me my pocket money?"