Allowance Analyst T-Shirts

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

'I have reason to believe that my sister is getting a bigger allowance than me. I think you and mom should be more forthcoming and transparent.'

'I get a weekly allowance but I don't have a retirement plan, and that worries me.'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'She won't budge on the allowance, but she did present me an 800 page handbook detailing the perks.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

'You don't get an allowance because you don't have any pockets.'

"I hear his allowance is in the two figures."

"Your stocks are at an all-time high. My allowance is at an all-time low. Isn't that income inequality?"

'A raise in your allowance? I'll have to go and change into my suit before I can answer that.'

"I made the mistake of saying to my father that a dollar doesn't go as far as it did when he was a kid...they he started yelling - 'A dollar! I only got a dime when I was your age!'"

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

Dispute over pocket money

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"You're a Democrat. Aren't you supposed to be liberal with money?"

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

"Those are my money managers."

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."