Alarm Warrior T-Shirts

Alarm clock.

Nervous Oral Testing

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Privacy - Surveillance

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's time to wake up!"

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

Meet the People of the Internet

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Call Center.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

Concern Chart

"Dang it."

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

A New New World Order

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'... No, I'm sorry, the doctor can't see you right now. Today's his prior authorization day.'

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

One last question before i take the job.

Fire at the Bisto Factory

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

Monsanto

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'