Airport Security Personnel T-Shirts

To lower health-care costs, many physicians are teaming up with airport security.

'Could you please do an dental x-ray? I think I broke a tooth on a rock in my in-flight meal.'

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

'We're now allowed to take liquids on board provided we consumed them in the airport lounge.'

'Tower, we are ready for takeoff.'

The latest security measure in flying.

Luggage checks.

More intense body search at airport checkpoints.

Deposit all metal objects in basket.

Airport Security.

'Uh, Sir... would you please remove your neck bolts and try again?'

Watching strangers undress, then and now.

Angst Airport

Airport security - Groping or non-groping.

Bomb-sniffing dog fails tests

GATE 13, DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

The Security Check

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Remove any metal from your pockets."

"How long we gotta wear these ridiculous dunce caps...?"

Why nail clipper are not allowed on commercial aircraft.

US bans laptops and mobiles on planes

"I don't know how to even BEGIN to unpack the utter nonsense of what you're saying!"

"Well, it's not my fault you decided to get a body piercing in the area. Now, get undressed and go through the scanner again."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"Yo Mike, I'm going to lunch!"

'It is part of the security upgrade.'

"I wish they had untamed-rage detectors."

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

HomeSec We Hardly Knew Ye

A Little Extra

"It's marzipan pigs."

MRI Airport Security