Aging Gracefully Guide Mugs

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Parts Department

Aging Problems

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I come from the future."

"Miriam keeps me young."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'