Advocate Of Transparency Pillows

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

The Farewell Speech Eisenhower Should Have Made...

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

Wholesale market in Cuba

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'Nothing like fear tactics to deter future leakers!'

Trump's Wall

'...was shocked to learn the politician had been secretly filmed telling the truth...'

"Those are muzzles for whistleblowers."

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"Baldo, I'm proud of you for admitting you were wrong, but remember...a man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything."

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

Report

Played Wordle Fair and Square

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

What to disclose at a job interview

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

Weapens of Mass Redaction

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"I gotta be honest. I lied on my profile. I'm actually a CPA, not a CEO."