Advice Column Fan Mugs

"...failing is ok."

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Man...You age great!'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

Support groups for car repairs.

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"How was the play!"

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Suicide

So...who is your provider ?

Penfriend

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

Waiting For Godot And The Cable Guy

"I can't see the food for the peas."

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. 'Shmernie' in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?" "How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to warn people about how they're getting screwed over, but they keep vot-- I mean, hanging out with the screwer-overers." "Give it up, 'Shmernie!' It's over!" "This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment from 'S

'Tom, you have always had a great ear for music.'

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

Old Vampire with false teeth.

The Capital Sisters - Dory, Cory, and Io

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie?'" "Are America's best days behind us?" "Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said 'In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country.'" "I still have no idea what he was talking about." "I don't even remember what I asked you."