Advertising Professionals Prints

"Remember when streakers were amateurs."

Our new marketing strategy: Sue their pants off.

"Towards a sustainable future"

Where Are They Now?

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

Church Pastor Paul Lucas - NOW IN 3D

'Not only our fishcakes, Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a Granny.'

"Delivery in thirty minutes or your pizza is free(zing)."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Please take this flyer.'

The world's first marketing genius.

"Then, unfortunately, our market launch ran into a brick wall."

"Guys, this circular is in today's paper...except the people over there messed it up! Our coolant is $7.99, not $1, battery chargers are $39.99, not $9.99...and hydraulic jacks are $29.99 not $2."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'