Adventure Parks Gifts

"Looks to be some kind of menu."

Narcissus! Come back!

Bitchbark Canoe

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

Local Knowledge

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Skiing.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Hi-yah!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

Sausages.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'Echo Tourism'

Hay Rides $10

Collies Without Borders