Adolescence Phase Pillows

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

"Well, if you trust me, why can't you trust that I don't hang with people I don't trust?"

'Teenagers!'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Beware of the teenager.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

Pubertry

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"All this running around you do at night … it’s killing your mother."

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

"I was 13 once. It was hard."

'I think he's beginning to notice girls.He's washed his face without being asked to!'

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'