Account Aficionado Pillows

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"Meet the author"

"What's a debenture?"

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Stock market investment advice

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Sheep Ledger

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'