Academic Staff Pillows

'Hold on a minute. Someone stole my pen.'

"I'm afraid you lack the power to exile a professor to a branch campus."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Is it that bad?"

"Meet the scribe"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Punctuation Police