Academic Research T-Shirts

'Under strict laboratory conditions, research concludes that, in spite of being watched, pots do eventually boil.'

'You've got to hand it to Mandelbart -- He got a Nobel Prize for writing grant applications.'

California Institute of Advanced Language Research,

"I'm afraid we can't accept your grant proposal. You can't predict the way water flows from a faucet!"

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

Man giving a writer an honest and insulting appraisal of his article.

'I read the paper you gave at the Iceland Conference on my way to the Hawaii Conference.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'My grant to study the Isle Cannibals was extended!'

Center for the Study of the Economic R Word.

"Sorry Professor Smith, but your grant to buy a high-power cavity magnetron has been downgraded: They're sending you a microwave oven instead..."

Climate Catastrophism

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Good boy."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Fear/Knowledge

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."