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A Puppet Named Juan

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Scientists are sexy

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

Exam

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

The intellectual.

Nervous Oral Testing

"How was work?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Miss America IQ Pageant

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

Super Student

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"I lettered in spelling."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

Examinations.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'