Absurdism Fan Pillows

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Grudgeworthy

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

Pastry Hat

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Murder in Apartment 6-K

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Glance Exchange

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Who's next?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Boomerang cow.

One way only.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"It's my helper trout!"

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Franz Kafka

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'You need some stress.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."