70th Birthday T-Shirts

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

'You don't look 70 dear, that was some time ago. . .'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I sent out for everything.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Young Frankenstein"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Tartine

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"How can you be out of wings?"

City Zoo: Day Care

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."