Phone Phreak Pillows

"Textin’"

"Hello. Dial a pizza"

Woman on the phone.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Gawk

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

'It's for you.'

'Are you gonna answer that?'

'... So I'm standing near this old guy and he's using an old, giant cell phone-- I mean this thing is ridiculous! Hahahaha!'

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

'Stupid telebarketers.'

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"I forgot my phone."

"No...his mobile network has gone down."

Cold-calls.

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" Jake and Billy make their last prank call.

"We can now tell the rest of the mice that after testing on lab humans, phones can be an addictive time waster."

'I can't tell if it's an obscene phone call or one of your friends panting.'