Jail Tale Appreciator Pillows

"Can you hear me now?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Jack and the Beanie stock.

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Give up smoking? Why?'

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"I've moved into corporate theft."

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

'Does this orange jumpsuit make my butt look big?'

"This is your great uncle Lorenzo. He came to this country not speaking one word of English and with only one penny to his name. And in just 20 years, he was completely broke."

"So come on then, why does everyone call you Lofty?"

"I didn't follow the arrows at the grocery store!"

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

Werewolf Cellmate

"It's best to let sleeping dogs lie"

"You just stay on your side of the line and I'll stay on mine."

King Neptune getting smashed on the head by a Mafia victim with concrete shoes.

"How long have those two been inside?"

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

Guess what my number is?